Guys, let’s face it, your girlfriend was dropping remarks about tying the knot even before you put a ring on it and now that the day is coming up, you can barely relate to her stress level. Planning a wedding is demanding and time consuming, and if not taken care of with gentle and adequate attention on your part, can be damaging to you and your wifey-to-be’s relationship if she feels you are not stepping up to the plate. It’s not that you aren’t excited or don’t want to be involved, but you honestly don’t know where to begin.
It can be easy to get lost in conversations about vanilla versus butter cream and lost your head and your patience. The whole process can be utterly exhausting; but it’s not the sixties any more fellas and the responsibility of planning for the wedding no longer solely relies on the bride. You should strive to help your bride as much as possible to ease her anxiety, not to mention your own, while planning for the big day. Wedding planning is all about picking your battles, knowing when to have an opinion, when to help, and when to walk away. Here are 10 tips you dudes can do to help your girl out during the planning process and little ways to help maintain your sanity through conversations about peonies and calla lilies.
- Most likely your babe will have a schedule or planner outlining all of her “to-do’s,” like tastings and dress shopping. Take a peak and see what outings don’t sound girls-only (i.e dress shopping and the bachelorette party) and write down in your own planner what you will be attending, which should be every single outing. When you schedule your obligations they don’t feel so terrible as you can mentally prepare for them and schedule conflictions around them. You can DVR the night’s game and your girl will appreciate your company more than you know.
- The Big Three: The 80/20 rule is basically, 80 percent of your wedding’s cost will come from 20 percent of the decisions. The trick is to help your fiancée with the right 20 percent. The guest list, the date, and the venue are considered the big three. Venues charge per head and it is essential you categorize every person you’ve ever met importance to you and if they will be there to share the big day. If you and your SO are having trouble crunching numbers, make general rules like no children or no co-workers.
When it comes to picking the venue, there are a lot of questions to be asked, but you can stick to the main ones like outside catering options, booze options, and what the parking situation is. You’ll impress your bride with these questions and can doze off for the rest.
Compromise on a date that works for both of you and do your guests a favor and don’t plan on or too close to a hard holiday or a special event like the Super Bowl as much as you can.
- Get involved with the registry—Is your blender from college really that old? If you want your new life loaded with cool gadgets from Amazon or plates and candles from Pottery Barn, then get pumped to start registering for wedding gifts. This is your chance to pick out cool items both of you can enjoy long term like items from Target and trips. Try to reason with her when she insists on two kinds of gravy boats and remind her that the two of you don’t have that many friends.
- Write Your Vows—When was the last time you really sat down and told the girl of your dreams just how dreamlike she is? You don’t have to be Ernst Hemmingway to write a decent vow to share with her on the big day. Even if the two of you agree not to write your own, surprise her an original. It will touch her in a way that she will never forget, especially if you are not typically the romantic type. If you’re finding it hard to put your feelings into writing, then stick to talking about the moment you knew she was the one and when you fell in love with her, and how excited for forever you are.
- Get Fit, Together—The both of you will be taking more pictures on your wedding day than any other time of in your life and you both want to look your best. Letting her tag along with you to the gym will ease her anxiety about fitting into her dress while making her feel good when she’s releasing endorphins. It will be nice to spend time together outside of the crazy wedding planning and it will help you look your ultimate manly in your tux.
- Surprise Her, Often—The last thing your woman will want to discuss is flowers after she’s been choosing carnations and bouquet ribbons all day, but we never said anything about receiving them. Let her know you see how hard she is working and how much you appreciate her taking the reins on the dirty work by surprising her with a romantic, home cooked dinner or flowers when she gets home from work. A little romance can go a long way, especially during crunch time.
- Know When To Zip the Lip—I’m sorry, guys, but when it comes to the dress, the flowers, and most of the décor, the silent and supportive type of men get out alive. She’ll let you choose her dress when you let her choose your fantasy football team. If you choose to share your opinion when it comes to her dress and the flowers, be prepared for her to fire back at you when you want to rock a pinstriped tux.
- Don’t forget gifts—Being part of a wedding is a time consuming and expensive commitment for your buddies. Don’t forget to choose groomsmen gifts that are awesome to show your appreciation, and I don’t mean flasks and ties. Either opt for individualized presents or really put a lot of thought into your group gifts. Oh, and don’t forget to get your bride a gift to exchange at the rehearsal dinner, so you don’t end up staring blankly at your beef tar tar as she hands you engraved cufflinks.
- Choose the Wedding Bands—Most couples decide to buy wedding bands together, but lately couples have been going for an element of surprise when it comes to their bands. Have her choose yours and you, hers, agreeing on a type of band, gold, platinum, etc. Or, if you want to take the charge completely (and you know her very well or have similar tastes), tell her not to worry about choosing bands and you’ll take care of it. It adds an extra component of surprise on the big day, as if you needed anymore.
- Plan the Honeymoon—Your bride has been planning her eyes out and could use a break. Choose the honeymoon and destination and book it, early. She will thank you for taking the extra weight off of her. The best honeymoons are half adventure and half relaxation; so select a destination that combines both aspects.
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